15+ best ways to use interpersonal skills at work (with examples)

An article in theSingapore Straits Times reveals that, aside from looking for candidates with the required skills for a specific role, Singaporean employers are now also prioritising people with a demonstrated positive attitude, critical thinking abilities, and good interpersonal skills. Mastering interpersonal skills can help you work better and smarter, whether you're starting your career or gunning for a bigger role.

Interpersonal skills encompass a broad range of abilities that allow you to connect and relate more effectively – an advantage in every professional setting. Individuals can use these skills to create positive relationships – or improve existing ones – with colleagues, clients, superiors, and even family and friends.

Employers value candidates with essential interpersonal skills, including:

• Self-confidence
• Relationship management
• A positive attitude
• Communication skills
• Teamwork

Techniques like patience and flexibility are crucial to the workplace. According toSingapore Business Review,employing such techniques shows respect and appreciation for other opinions; they’re considered soft skills that build trust and encourage collaboration at every step.

This comprehensive guide focuses on the importance of interpersonal skills in both professional and personal settings, and provides practical tips to develop and master them.

• The building blocks of interpersonal skills
• Strengthening your interpersonal skills
• When to use interpersonal skills at work
• Fields where interpersonal skills are very important
• Summary
• Frequently asked questions (FAQs)

The building blocks of interpersonal skills

Interpersonal skills allow individuals to communicate effectively, work collaboratively, and resolve conflicts. But these abilities don't appear out of thin air. Like all skills,they start with “building blocks” or fundamentals you can develop.

1. Communication skills

Comprehending and explaining well can avert conflicts and misunderstandings. To enhance your communication skills, you have to practise verbal and non-verbal expression as well as active listening.

According to Mark Frank, Department of Communication chair at the University of Buffalo, learning how to read signals can help you understand and empathise with people better.

• Verbal communicationinvolves expressing yourself clearly and concisely via a good command of language. Oral abilities can make a difference when pitching to a client and delegating tasks to employees.
• Non-verbal communicationincludes body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Understanding different cultures' non-verbal cues can also avoid misinterpretation.
• Active listeningmeans paying attention, showing empathy, asking for further clarification, and summarising. Active listening is underappreciated but crucial since it involves listening and reacting simultaneously.

2. Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence recognises, understands, and manages other people's emotions. It is critical for success at work, which is often a stressful and pressured environment. According to entrepreneur Catalin Matei's article on emotional intelligence in your career ’, it is also positively related to job performance and job satisfaction; the higher your emotional intelligence, the better you are at your job. A thriving emotional quotient relies on, but is not limited to, three things:

• Self-awarenessinvolves understanding your emotions and their impact on others. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses and learning from constructive criticism are essential.
• Self-regulationmeans managing emotions effectively. It's not about hiding your feelings, but showing them with restraint and control.
• Empathyrequires understanding and responding to other emotions. It is essential for effective communication and building positive relationships.

3. Conflict resolution

Conflict is natural in any setting. Getting to the root of the issue and using techniques to resolve them are critical to successful interpersonal relationships in casual and professional contexts.

Identify the root cause of the conflict:

• Use active listening to understand the opposing perspective.
• Be open to compromise.
• Negotiate.

Negotiation

According to Harvard Law School's Negotiation Programme, proper negotiation strategies reduce escalation, if not avoid conflict altogether. You can strengthen your conflict-resolution skills with the following steps:

• Avoid being provoked into an emotional response by taking a break or using other diversions that could help regulate your feelings.
• Find shared values between the two parties that might help them reach a compromise.
• Take your time. Time can cool heads and put things in a fresher perspective.
• Practise empathy and compassion. According to a study in Emotion Review, these two traits promote mutual understanding.

It’s important to understand and manage your emotions. If you manage your emotions and  respond appropriately to the emotions of others, you can be very successful interpersonally. It helps cultivate stronger relationships and harmony in communities. Communicating is a two-way street, but making the first step takes you closer to building a connection.

4. Collaboration and teamwork

Working together is essential to achieving common goals. Teamwork and collaboration separate good work from substandard work. It’s also why diversity in the workplace has become so essential – it teaches you to communicate and work with people from differing backgrounds.

Team dynamics

Team dynamics is the broad idea that everybody brings something to the table. Progress is not a single person's achievement, but is shared by the team. Good practices for improving team dynamics involve collaboration spaces. You create an environment which drives cooperation and diversity of thought. This embraces the idea that different perspectives matter.

Building trust within teams

Trust fuels teamwork. It makes people feel safe to share ideas, take risks, be honest, and perform their duties well, confident that their team members are doing the same.

Build some trust among the team through these practices:

• Suggest clear goals and expectations.
• Ensure memberswork towards a purpose honestly and consistently.
• Share responsibility between all members of the group.

5. Adaptability

Adaptability means embracing change, being agile, and cultivating resilience. These interpersonal skills are especially crucial in today's fast-paced labour market, where you must continuously upskill and reskill to remain relevant.

Here are some of the benefits of being adaptable:

• Flexibility in interpersonal relationships means you can easily adapt to others' communication styles.
• Embracing change involves staying open-minded, welcoming modifications to a routine, and being proactive when dealing with these shake-ups.
• Cultivating resilience means soldiering on – and even thriving – despite challenges and changes thrown your way.
• Adopting a growth mindset means allowing little shifts to help you improve.

Being adaptable may seem like a unicorn trait. According to Harvard Business Review, many managers have little faith in their staff's ability to survive the twists and turns of a rapidly evolving economy. However, most employees are eager to embrace retraining.

Strengthening your interpersonal skills

While some interpersonal skills, such as interpersonal flexibility and empathy, are innate or nurtured early, you can develop them, too. These transferable skills are like dormant muscles that you can flex and strengthen with time and reps.

1. Assertiveness training

An assertive person expresses their thoughts and feelings appropriately while still respecting other ideas. Singapore's culture of politeness means most people often prefer a soft-spoken way of conveying their emotions. However, according to a survey, 58% of Singapore's workforce are also more open to revealing their opinions to their colleagues than when they started their careers.

You can become more assertive by learning to say “no,” managing your emotions and focusing on the goal, and planning your responses. Before responding, pause and reflect. What will be affected if I say “no”? Will speaking loudly be misconstrued as harsh? Answer professionally and pragmatically.

Assertiveness and aggressiveness are not synonymous. Assertiveness is respectful, a means to stand up for yourself, and evokes a sense of diplomacy. Aggressiveness is more threatening and almost always a way to attack someone.

How to balance assertiveness with diplomacy:

• Actively listen
• Choose your words carefully
• Acknowledge that others may have valuable insights to contribute
• Establish your boundaries

2. Building rapport

Rapport largely refers to harmony among a group. This sense of camaraderie and friendship is necessary when working in pairs or teams. It creates a positive work environment, develops trust in each other, and helps employees feel more engaged.

While some people naturally gravitate towards each other, there are ways you can build rapport.

Identify common ground

Remember when your mom taught you how to make friends when you were a kid? Find out what you have in common. Having common ground creates an instant bond as well as a conversation starter. You can do this by asking questions to see who has similar answers.

Use mirroring techniques

According to Forbes, mirroring is a subtle but powerful way to express empathy – and that, in itself, shows how well you understand each other's feelings.

Leadership expert Carol Kinsey Newman writes:"Mirror neurons fire when you see an emotion expressed on a team member’s face – or read it in [their] gestures or posture. You then subconsciously place yourself in the other person’s 'mental shoes' and begin to recall and experience that same emotion."

These mirror neurons allow you to experience the joys and sorrows of others and to connect with them on an emotional level.

Try humour

Based on the study " Humour in Workplace Leadership: A Systematic Search Scoping Review," humour can lighten the mood, create a shared experience, and help establish a connection when applied appropriately. However, make sure not to use it offensively or disrespectfully.

3. Developing empathy

Empathy is the innate ability to understand another person's emotions and imagine what they might think or feel. In recent years, researchers have recognised various forms of this interpersonal skill:

• Cognitive empathy involves the understanding of someone's thoughts and perspectives.
• Emotional empathy deals with the sharing and feeling of someone else's emotions.
• Compassionate empathy is where cognitive and emotional empathy focus on action and objective-based support.

Here’s a situation where you can practise empathy: A colleague failed to pass their probation after a combination of personal and professional struggles.

A cognitive approach would be to say, “I know you are disappointed. I’m sorry this happened to you.” An emotional response would be, “I’m sad that you won’t be able to continue working here. I’ve lost a job before and I know what you’re going through.” A compassionate reaction would be more along the lines of “I know it’s tough and disappointing, but you can use this experience to make you stronger.”

Benefits of empathy

Many studies confirm that empathy can make you a better manager and, ultimately, a better human being. It creates a dynamic that makes the team believe you're all in this together, enhancing collaboration, camaraderie, and rapport.

Strategies for enhancing empathy

• Meet new people. During mixers or networking events, make it a point to talk to "strangers." Introduce yourself, strike up a real conversation, and ask about their lives.
• Trade lives. For example, try doing what your team members are doing. It helps you understand what they go through and may help you build better strategies for delegation and motivation.
• Volunteer. Doing something good helps build your self-esteem and improves your overall life satisfaction. It allows you to see other people's lives and further appreciate your own.

4. Improving active listening

Active listening is a topic you may be familiar with by now. It is a crucial aspect of effective communication, since it implies how engaged and involved you are in the conversation.

A study in the International Journal on Transformations of Media, Journalism & Mass Communication reveals that good listening reduces conflict, increases trust, and gives you the knowledge to inspire and motivate others in the workplace or any interpersonal relationship.

Listening seems easy enough to do; however, some barriers hamper you from doing it well – and you may not even be conscious of them. For example, distractions, preconceptions, and a general lack of interest can prevent you from being committed fully to the dialogue.

Techniques to become a better listener

These tips are similar to psychological first aid and have been adopted for counselling.

• Give your full attention. It's also vital to avoid interruptions to show interest and engagement.
• Minimise environmental distractions. Find a quiet place to hold conversations or use noise-cancelling headphones to block out external noise if you are video conferencing or on the phone. Turn off or mute your devices to minimise interruptions.
• Develop genuine curiosity. Cultivate an interest in understanding others' perspectives and experiences. Asking open-ended questions can help you learn more about their perspective.
• Practise mindfulness. Cultivate a habit of focusing on the present moment and the person speaking. Mindfulness can help reduce preconceptions and judgments.
• Ask questions. Queries establish a two-way conversation. It confirms that you're paying attention and you want to know more.
• Paraphrase with intent and clarification. Similar to asking questions, repeating information helps you internalise details and validates how focused you are on what the other is saying.

While listening implies a certain one-sidedness, feedback makes it an actual conversation. Your questions and comments show you've been there the entire time and you found their time valuable. It ensures you understand the other person's message correctly, and encourages open communication.

5. Enhancing non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication comprises body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and eye contact. It can convey as much, if not more, meaning than verbal skills. These cues help express emotions, attitudes, and intentions, often impacting how others understand a message without a word ever being said.

Improving non-verbal skills entails being aware of your body language and tone while interacting with others. Here are a few directions to take:

• Maintain eye contact. It demonstrates engagement and attentiveness.
• Use your observational skills. Be fully present and anticipate and interpret others' cues.
• Recognise and adapt to cultural differences. Being sensitive to cultural differences can help improve communication and prevent conflict.

When to use interpersonal skills at work

Interpersonal skills are vital in hospitality, human resources, sales, and public relations. However, you can apply them across industries. Values like leadership and openness pave the way towards a more meaningful and positive work environment.

1. Networking

Having a network can boost your career. It can open doors towards better career opportunities, provide critical industry information, and even lead to potential partnerships.

Strategies for effective networking

• Identify key individuals or groups you want to connect with and find ways to engage with them.
• Engage and organise by attending industry events, joining professional organisations, and participating in online forums or social media groups.
• Always be prepared with these interview tips for a good elevator pitch showcasing your skills and interests.

Maintaining professional relationships

Most people believe networking ends with that initial introduction, but it's only half the battle. You must nurture your connection, especially if you need to call in a favour in the future. Here are some tips to strengthen your networks:

• Exchange contact information. Add them to your social networks after your introduction, and don't forget to remind them of who you are and where you met.
• Invite them out for coffee. Turn that contact into a professional friendship by regularly keeping in touch.
• Be open to helping them. Give them an industry tip or introduce them to other contacts. Assist them in a project. Make them see you as a valuable connection.

2. Exercising leadership

You don’t have to be a manager to be a good leader. Having sound leadership skills means being capable of motivating and guiding others, helping them realise their full potential. Leaderspossess a knack for communication, emotional intelligence,and the ability to make effective decisions.

You can choose among these workplace leadership styles depending on your personality and the context. Work environments often feature a blend of three popular types to suit the diverse needs of the employees.

Leadership styles and their impact on interpersonal skills

• Autocratic leaders make decisions independently and often have strict rules and expectations. An authoritarian leader may be controlling and have a "my way or the highway" approach to differing perspectives, which may limit opportunities for exploration. Think Miranda Priestly fromThe Devil Wears Prada.
• Democratic leaders encourage team involvement and collaboration. This type may emphasise consensus decision-making, such as effective collaboration and brainstorming. Imagine Captain Holt fromBrooklyn Nine-Nine.
• Laissez-faire leaders give their teams more autonomy. By focusing on trust between a manager and the team, complete independence stimulates freedom, unlimited creativity, and resource-savviness. It’s like how Yoda lets his padawans figure things out on their own.

How to develop leadership skills

Developing a sense of leadership takes time and effort. However, these are the types of skills you can gain with practice.

• Attend leadership development programmes. Many Singaporean establishments, such as the National University of Singapore and INSEAD, offer such courses.
• Seek out a mentor. Sign up for your company's mentorship programme if it has one. Or you can choose someone you admire in your office and ask them to mentor you.
• Ask your team for feedback. Leaders lead by example, and being aware of your weakness shows attentiveness, humility, and willingness to improve.
• Be agile. A leader must be decisive and proactive, especially when things don't go according to plan.
• Stay optimistic. One of the main roles of a leader is to encourage the team. Even in the face of adversity, you must be able to pull everyone together.

3. Problem-solving

Identifying problems and opportunities and finding practical solutions are essential in any workplace setting. From team members resigning during crucial moments to figuring out how to use the sound system during an event, you must be able to navigate your way through obstacles to reach a successful outcome.

Collaborative problem-solving

More heads are usually better than one. Collaborative problem-solving denotes working with others to identify problems and brainstorm solutions. Getting your team in on the challenges encourages teamwork and helps train them for similar situations in the future.

Exercise collaborative problem-solving through the following:

• Regular team meetings
• Open communication
• Brainstorming
• Root cause analysis or the act of step-by-step identification of cause and effect
• SWOT (Strength, Weakness, Opportunities, Threats)analysis

Decision-making in a group context

Once you have thoroughly analysed and discussed a problem and weighed all your options as a team, you must decide on the best course of action. Group decision-making draws from various perspectives and experiences. Theoretically, it spurs solutions that are not only more considerate, but also creative and satisfactory to a wider range of people.

4. Giving and receiving feedback

Feedback helps the entire organisation grow and be better. Giving your team constructive notes makes them better at work, which, in turn, benefits your work and the company. Your being equally open to assessments of your performance shows your openness and determination to be more productive.

Proper feedback helps:

• Pinpoint opportunities for development
• Celebrate accomplishments
• Help an individual advance in their careers

Techniques for giving constructive feedback :

Constructive criticism isn't about pointing out the bad things in a performance. Angle your comments towards improvement and goal-setting. Stay professional and non-judgmental.

• Communicate your feedback to the person directly. Don't let it pass through the grapevine – or you might incite conflict.
• Present clear examplesthat provide context to your comments.
• Providing feasible recommendations for improvement. Make sure your suggestions are actionable and measurable. Instead of saying, "Do better next time," you can outline concrete goals, such as "Your numbers should be 25 % higher this time next year.”

Receiving feedback gracefully

Remember to say thank you for any compliment that comes your way. If you disagree about a particular note, ask the person for clarification. It's important not to become emotional and defensive. Simply explain your side concretely.

You should also always end a feedback session with a proactive stance. If the person doesn't give you specific goals for improvement, set them yourself and inform the other person of your plans.

Note, however, that giving and receiving feedback is contextual. Offering comments to a superior isn’t quite the same as sharing one with a peer. Adjust accordingly.

5. Practising culturalcompetence

Cultural competence means adopting the attitudes and actions needed to effectively deal with cross-cultural situations. It means recognising the ideas and values of different racial, religious, or social groups. This applies to different professional settings.

These days, an inclusive culture can give companies a competitive edge. According to Deloitte, companies that uphold diversity, equity, and inclusion are six times more likely to innovate, anticipate change, and respond, and twice as likely to meet or exceed targets. Another Deloitte survey also reveals that Gen Z, which will soon overtake Millennials in the workforce, looks for diversity in the companies they work with.

If you want to be more culturally competent, here are some things you have to do:

Develop cultural awareness

Cultural awareness means being cognisant that other people have different experiences and backgrounds. For example, you know it would be insensitive to eat lavishly in front of your Muslim colleagues during the fasting periods of Ramadan. Likewise, don't try to schedule a meeting duringiftaror when they're allowed to eat after sunset.

Understand cultural differences

More than awareness, it's also crucial that you don't assign these differences as right or wrong. They're just different. You don't plan the company party menu with beef and tell your Hindu coworker to deal with it. Similarly, you may be a Millennial having trouble connecting with Gen X colleagues.

However, multigenerational and cross-cultural teams can thrive. Being open to these dissimilarities shows your respect and empathy and strengthens your working relationship. Besides, you’re all working towards the same goals and that should help you cooperate.

Strategies for effective cross-cultural communication

• Adapt your communication style to suit cultural norms. Items such as using different language, tone, and body language can stimulate a vibrant group dynamic.
• Use clear and simple language. Avoid using slang, idioms, or complex expressions that may not be easily understood by people who are not native speakers of your language.
• Active listening and non-verbal communication help you converse effectively despite a language barrier.

Fields where interpersonal skills are very important

While you can use your interpersonal skills professionally and personally, some fields emphasise them more than others.

Sales

People in sales, such as sales representatives, account managers, and business development managers, must establish rapport with potential customers to build a loyal client network. They must also be patient, emotionally intelligent, and adaptable, adjusting their pitches based on the cues of their customers.

Customer service

Customer service professionals, such as concierges, client relations specialists, and account coordinators, must master conflict resolution, especially when tensions escalate. They must also be empathetic and good listeners to smooth out customers' emotions.

Leadership and management

Anyone holding a leadership role, such as managers, directors, and executives, must possess strong interpersonal skills to inspire their team and produce results. They must be able to listen to their team and clients, lead collaboration, and exhibit an excellent communication style to help discuss tasks and objectives properly.

Leaders must also be adept at solving problems, resolving conflicts, and being agile in the face of changes.

Healthcare

Doctors, nurses, and patient care coordinators must exercise empathy, especially when delivering bad news to patients. They must also be culturally aware and articulate, so they can relay prognoses sensitively. Due to their work, people in this field tend to be adaptable, especially in case of emergencies.

Education

Teachers and guidance counsellors must be well-versed in building rapport with their students. To establish that connection, they must be terrific listeners and excellent communicators. Interpersonal skills help create a positive relationship and a supportive learning environment.

Human resources

HR managers, recruiters, and talent development specialists must learn to handle disputes well. This field also requires strong negotiation skills (especially with hiring), communication abilities, and empathy, among other interpersonal capabilities.

Public relations (PR)

PR can be a highly stressful career. You must have interpersonal flexibility, agility, and communication skills to thrive in this industry. On top of that, PR managers, communications specialists, and media relations professionals usually have a strong and well-maintained network.

Law enforcement

Police personnel and lawyers are incredibly adaptable. They must be assertive and seasoned active listeners to formulate well-reasoned responses and strategies. Collaboration is also an essential skill in this field. For example, authorities work together to maintain order, while attorneys need rapport with their clients to defend them efficiently.

Summary

You could say that interpersonal skills are in the "soft" territory, but that doesn't mean you could do away with them. The mindset, attitude, and character that make up these abilities are the backbone of your work ethic, and help you succeed in any role.

Strong interpersonal skills can enhance communication, collaboration, and job performance, making them essential for any professional. Don't worry if you think you haven't mastered all these skills. These capabilities only improve with experience.

Do you want more workplace tips? Drop by our Career Advice page. You can also download the JobStreet app on Google Play and the App Store for easier access.

Frequently asked questions (FAQs)

1. What are the most important interpersonal skills to develop?
   ⁠
   ⁠The most crucial ones to develop include:
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   - ⁠Communication skills
   - ⁠Emotional intelligence
   - ⁠Conflict resolution
   - ⁠Collaboration and teamwork
   - ⁠Adaptability
   ⁠- Assertiveness
   - ⁠Active listening
   ⁠
   ⁠These skills help individuals effectively navigate workplace relationships, communicate their ideas and thoughts, and work towards common goals.
   ⁠
2. How can I improve my interpersonal skills in a professional setting?
   ⁠
   ⁠Seek feedback from your colleagues and superiors. Notes could help you identify areas for improvement, allowing you to work towards enhancing your skills.
   ⁠
   ⁠Once you've determined your "weaker" traits, you can hone them by being self-aware, seeking out mentorship opportunities, or even enrolling in programmes.
   ⁠
3. How can I practise my interpersonal skills in everyday life?
   ⁠
   ⁠One of the simplest ways to practise your interpersonal skills is to engage in conversations with friends, family, and acquaintances. It is a means for you to train in active listening, empathy, and effective communication.
   ⁠
   ⁠You can also try participating in group activities (whether it's a work gig or from your social group), joining volunteer efforts, and signing up for leadership roles. All of these help you practise collaboration, teamwork, and leadership skills.
   ⁠
4. How can practising mindfulness help enhance my interpersonal skills?
   ⁠
   ⁠Mindfulness prompts self-awareness and emotional regulation. It allows you to understand your emotions better and recognise the emotions of others, leading to improved empathy and communication.
   ⁠
5. Can introverts be successful in developing strong interpersonal skills?
   ⁠
   ⁠You don't have to be a chatterbox to have interpersonal skills. Introverts canbe successful in their way.
   ⁠
   ⁠They may prefer quieter and more solitary activities, but they can still practise effective communication, active listening, empathy, and collaboration. After all, non-verbal cues carry just as much weight as verbal ones – if not more – during conversations. Introverts are also well-known for being self-aware and cautious – which you can use to solve problems and polish your emotional intelligence.
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   ⁠Start slowly, such as joining small-group activities, before moving on to more leadership roles and monumental projects.
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6. What are some resources for further development of interpersonal skills?
   ⁠
   ⁠There are several resources available for the further development of interpersonal skills, including online courses, books, workshops, and training programmes.
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   ⁠Some examples of free online resources:
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   - ⁠Coursera
   - ⁠ JobStreet's Career Advice page
   - ⁠Udemy
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   ⁠Additionally, attending seminars and conferences, seeking mentorship opportunities, and participating in team-building activities can also help.
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7. How do interpersonal skills relate to emotional intelligence?
   ⁠
   ⁠Interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence are closely related, since the latter involves the ability to recognise and manage one's own emotions and the emotions of others.
   ⁠
   ⁠Your emotional quotient (EQ) makes you more effective at communicating, active listening, empathy, conflict resolution, and leadership.
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8. How can I handle difficult conversations more effectively?
   ⁠
   ⁠Handling difficult conversations effectively requires preparation, active listening, and empathy. When faced with adversity, focus on these principles:
   ⁠
   ⁠- Approach the conversation with a clear understanding of the issue and what you hope to accomplish.
   - ⁠Listen carefully to the other person's perspective, validate their feelings, and communicate your thoughts clearly and respectfully.
   - ⁠Stay calm and focused on seeking common ground, which can help diffuse tense situations.
   ⁠
9. Can I improve my interpersonal skills through online courses or training programs?
   ⁠
   ⁠Online courses and training programmes can be fruitful ways to improve your interpersonal skills. These resources can provide you with the knowledge and tools to develop and enhance your communication, conflict resolution, and leadership skills.
   ⁠
   ⁠However, you must also practise these skills in real-life situations to truly master them.
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10. How do I maintain strong interpersonal skills in a remote or virtual work environment?
    
    ⁠Maintaining strong interpersonal skills in a remote or virtual work environment requires intentional effort.
    ⁠
    ⁠Here are a few examples of distance training in interpersonal skills:
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    - ⁠Regular communication with colleagues via huddles or updates
    - ⁠Actively participating in virtual meetings and discussions
    ⁠- Turning on your video to express your body language